What is Relationship OCD (ROCD)?

There are many different subtypes of OCD, and it is very common for people who struggle with OCD to experience several different subtypes throughout their life. Typically one subtype feels “louder” than others with it taking most of your attention. Relationship OCD is one subtype that focus on experiencing intrusive worries and doubts about your relationship. This can apply to any type of relationship, but is most often found in romantic relationships (the stakes seems higher in romantic relationships which is why OCD likes to pay more attention to it).

ROCD thoughts can look like “How do I KNOW for sure that I am with the right person?”, “What if I could be happier or more in love with someone else?”. Now of course, these can be very rational thoughts to have about your relationship. The difference with OCD is that there is never an answer to these questions. We obsess over trying to find 100% certainty that this is the relationship I am meant to be in. Regardless of how many positives there may be in our relationship or how much evidence we have that we are with the right person, OCD always has a nagging “but, what if…..”

Compulsions with ROCD look like asking reassurance from others if they approve of your relationship, “checking” yourself to see if you feel “in love” enough with your partner, comparing yourself to other couples and feeling that other people are happier or more in love that you are with your partner, and comparing your current relationship with past relationships. Common triggers with ROCD can include watching romantic films, social medial posts about couples, arguments with your partner, and disapproval from others about your relationship.

The reality is, as with ALL things, 100% certainty is impossible. You will never know FOR SURE that your relationship is the ultimate happiness you could feel with someone. This is where risk and choice come into play.

As a side note, ANY type of abuse in a relationship (emotional, physical, financial, mental) is not a part of relationship anxiety tied in with ROCD. ROCD always focuses on minor issues in a relationship that are not related to abuse or a significant reason to not be with your partner.